Listen up, nipples!

Dear boobies,

I don't mind so much if your nipples are going to show through my shirt just a little. However, if you are going to do so, please attempt to, at least, point in the same direction. I know that you are very large and uncomfortable (in fact, friends often make shocked faces when I tell them what size you are... a number and letter combination I usually guesstimate, since stores for "normal" people don't make bras large enough to fit you) but can you just try this one thing for me?

Thanks so much,

Kelsie